12th May 2013

Photoset with 3 notes

This card is a parody of the series of problems a young male is supposed to go through when living on their own for the first time. Young females, conversely, can easily manage housework alone. This is, of course, due to vindictive mind moulding by the patriarchy and not an inherent biological trait.

As always, I find myself out of sorts with the television personifications of my sex and age bracket; I find no toil in maintaining myself or my premises. When I get round to it I actively enjoy cleaning and I also like cooking meal so square as to have ninety degree edges. It is an odd experience to be an example of the straight male community whilst simultaneously displaying little-to-no masculine qualities. If I were a character on a television program I’m sure the writers would have me sailing the ferry to Twophallus peninsula in the very first episode; lest the common folk grown uneasy with my questionable lack of stereotypical behaviour.

Oh heavens, I wrote ‘purchases’ in place of ‘purchase’. The egg on my face.

Tagged: mother's day card

15th December 2012

Photoset with 4,227 notes

Regrettably I drew the pictures without much consideration for where I’d put the text. Most noticeably in the sixth image where I practically ended up with a collage.

(And a happy birthday to weaver.)

Tagged: rubyquestpoem

5th December 2012

Photoset with 6 notes

Tagged: hawkeye initiativeLadymenI am the target audience and I don't like it

5th March 2012

Post with 3 notes

My reply

And now before my words have spun
And now before I turn to run
Afore I go
Before I leave
Afore I grant you this reprieve
Why must you cause a soul to grieve?

I ask of you to ruminate
On why you harbour all this hate
to simply sit and think and ponder

I dearly hope you stop to wonder
What tears us apart and you a sunder

Why should you curse?
Why do you care?
Are you afraid that if you share my air
A love for cock will manifest
And you’ll tear your grizzled heart from your macho chest

Because a broken man you’d surely be
If you’d rather death than my so called: faggotry

Tagged: poemI badly want the opportunity to say thisNote the clever irony I pulled with the italics

3rd March 2012


Perry’s epic adventure. Coming soon (valve time)

Perry’s epic adventure. Coming soon (valve time)

19th October 2011

Photoset with 16 notes

Gregory and George suffer corse racism at the hands of uneducated yobo’s.

Tagged: Gregory_and_Georgeracismpub

5th October 2011

Photoset with 8 notes

Gregory subsists almost entirely on moisture anyway.

Tagged: KippersTentacled_MonstrosityGregory_and_George

3rd October 2011

Photo with 2 notes

The humble adventures of Gregory and George.

The humble adventures of Gregory and George.

Tagged: CigarTentacled_MonstrosityGregory_and_George

2nd September 2011

Post with 6 notes

That Prick with the Picks

Ho I am the menstrual man

The mean old menstrual man I am

Once a month I will descend

To make you suffer sorely

Your period you can’t suspend

So prepare to feel quite poorly

And he stamps his little feet

with two picks tied neat

And his chubby little shoes

Beat a merry little tune

You ovum dose quiver

and you feel a shiver

Your smile flips to a frown

as the pain takes you down

Bugger my britches

The pain in these bitches!

My ovaries burn

why the hells it my turn?

It was over a month ago

whys my bodyclock so slow

So crippled and week

I’ll just lay here and weep

Oh woe the menstrual man

stomps on your ovaries you know

a satisfied grunt with every blow

And I know he’ll never stop

he stomps every period

But for three weeks and glad to say

The menstrual man has gone away

Tagged: ovarieswomenpoem